jeudi 10 janvier 2013
Coeur mouillé au petrole
Le silence tue ... L'attente abime. L'inquietude pourrit.
Alice a l'impression qu'un acide la ronge de l'interieur, lui grignote les intestins, remonte jusqu'a la gorge qui s'asseche et s'etrangle.
La douleur de l'abandon n'est pas qu'une brulure qui parcourt le corps et l'aneantit.
S'y ajoute la sensation d'amputation ...
Se separer de l'homme qu'on aime, dont on est betement tombee amoureuse alors qu'encore une fois on savait qu'il partirait, provoque le manque, laisse un vide, dans le coeur, dans le corps, dans le lit.
On le sent encore un peu, vaguement, on se souvient qu'il existait, on le cherche a tatons, esperant que par magie, il reapparaisse.
Mais non, il est loin, il est parti, laissant Alice les bras ballants avec des reminiscences de caresses, de tendresse, de douceur et d'immortalite.
Alice erre, se sent mourir petit a petit, ne sait que faire pour effacer cette impression qu'elle sait pourtant ephemere. Car elle vivra ... elle ne mourra pas d'amour, ni de chagrin, ni de desespoir. Elle se raisonnera et plongera dans un bac d'eau glacee son coeur qui s'est trop vite enflamme, comme a son habitude.
Le tenant dans sa pince, Alice le contemple. Il est bien laid avec toutes ces cicatrices de brulures et cassures subies ces dernieres annes. 1, 2,3, elle le baigne, le baptise dans la vasque cranienne. Le voila qui fume avec le bruit du gaz fuyant : Ppssshhh !
Alice soupire, Alice respire. Encore victime d'illusions, encore dupe de mirages ! A 30 ans, Alice est toujours la specialiste des combustions instantanees ... C'est le prix a payer pour toucher les cometes et collectionner les feux d'artifice.
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